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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Live now on Discord:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Making waves on Discord:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Seen just now on Twitch:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Just landed via Pinterest:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Trending via Threads:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Going viral on Messenger:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Funny rich woman quotes

New funny rich woman quotes 👇

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

0

5 months ago

beautiful, beautiful woman, big, big car, buy, car, driving, gorgeous, grocery, house, humor, irony, kitchen, luxury, oh, overpriced, rich, rich woman, shopping, stock, woman

Someone from 🇲🇹 has recently bookmarked this quote.

85 shares on Reddit this month.

All funny rich woman quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Discord this month:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

100 shares on Discord this month:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

36 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Just landed via Threads:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Making waves on WeChat:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Seen just now on Discord:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Spotted on Threads:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny rich woman quotes

New funny rich woman quotes 👇

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

All funny rich woman quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨