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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Making waves on Slack:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Trending via Snapchat:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Shared recently on Slack:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Seen just now on TikTok:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Family guy is so insane, because why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Going viral on Threads:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Spotted on Twitch:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Live now on Pinterest:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Breaking via Messenger:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Making waves on Facebook:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

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