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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,554

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,554

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,700

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Making waves on WeChat:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Just shared via WeChat:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Just landed via Messenger:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Going viral on Slack:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Live now on Snapchat:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

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Funny rocket science quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,554

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,554

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,790

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Fries, not lies.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Just landed via TikTok:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Live now on WhatsApp:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

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