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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Live now on Discord:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Going viral on Discord:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Just shared via Discord:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Seen just now on Slack:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Going viral on Reddit:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Trending via Snapchat:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Trending via Instagram:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Funny same time quotes

New funny same time quotes 👇

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

1 month ago

apology, everyone, humor, next, next year, place, repeat, same, same place, same time, time, wrong, wronged, year

All funny same time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

61 shares on Discord this month:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

30 shares on Discord this month:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Seen just now on Threads:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Trending via Slack:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Live now on Twitch:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Going viral on Reddit:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Trending via Facebook:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny same time quotes

New funny same time quotes 👇

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

All funny same time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨