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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Making waves on Messenger:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Trending via Snapchat:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Spotted on Instagram:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Live now on Snapchat:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Just landed via Twitch:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Making waves on Slack:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Just landed via X:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Trending via Twitch:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Going viral on Discord:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Just landed via Threads:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Just landed via Facebook:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

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