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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

55 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Trending via Slack:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Reported on WeChat:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Just landed via Threads:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Just shared via Instagram:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Going viral on Threads:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Home » Funny Scattered Quotes

Funny scattered quotes

New funny scattered quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Commentary:
"Who needs a duck in a row when you can have a duck party instead? 🦆🎉 Embrace the chaos and let those ducks roam free! Just be sure to watch your step 🦆💨 #QuackAttack"

For even more funny scattered quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny scattered quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

55 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Trending via WeChat:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Just shared via Slack:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Trending via WeChat:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

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