Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Going bananas on Slack:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Breaking via Messenger:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Going viral on TikTok:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Making waves on Instagram:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Spotted on Twitch:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Funny self persuasion quotes

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All funny self persuasion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

29 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

50 shares on WeChat this month:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

51 shares on Threads this month:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Going viral on X:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Trending via WeChat:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Just landed via WeChat:

Cool times create cool guys.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Just shared via Messenger:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Going viral on X:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

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