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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2459 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,621

Funny Quotes Topics

15,295

Funny Quotes Images

12,621

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Breaking via Threads:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Just landed via Reddit:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Live now on WeChat:

Having a job ruined my life.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Seen just now on Messenger:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Going viral on WeChat:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Reported on LinkedIn:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Shared recently on Slack:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

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Funny slapstick quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2459 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,621

Funny Quotes Topics

15,295

Funny Quotes Images

12,621

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Shared recently on Messenger:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Going viral on Slack:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Reported on Telegram:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Spotted on Reddit:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Seen just now on Messenger:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Live now on Reddit:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

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