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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Spotted on Messenger:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Trending via Instagram:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Just landed via Telegram:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Breaking via YouTube:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Trending via Discord:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Funny slapstick quotes

New funny slapstick quotes 👇

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

5 days ago

animation, anything, cartoons, cliff, comedy, fall, humor, irony, little, satire, slapstick, taught, umbrella, us, uselessness

All funny slapstick quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

84 shares on X this month:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

37 shares on Slack this month:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Seen just now on Discord:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Live now on Pinterest:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Trending via Snapchat:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny slapstick quotes

New funny slapstick quotes 👇

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

All funny slapstick quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨