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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,046

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Trending via Instagram:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Just shared via Slack:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Trending via Messenger:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Making waves on Twitch:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Just landed via Messenger:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Home » Funny Sneaking Out Quotes

Funny sneaking out quotes

New funny sneaking out quotes 👇

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

0

4 months ago

early, early leave, Friday, humor, leave, life, office, office life, sneaking, sneaking out, talent, work

All funny sneaking out quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Threads this month:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

92 shares on Telegram this month:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

37 shares on Discord this month:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

88 shares on Slack this month:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Spotted on Threads:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Making waves on Slack:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Breaking via Telegram:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Just shared via Instagram:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Just shared via Instagram:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny sneaking out quotes

New funny sneaking out quotes 👇

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

All funny sneaking out quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨