Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Going viral on Messenger:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Making waves on Instagram:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Making waves on Messenger:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Just shared via Threads:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Reddit this month:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

80 shares on X this month:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,490

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Seen just now on Reddit:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Trending via Messenger:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Trending via Facebook:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Trending via Pinterest:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

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