Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,745

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Spotted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Breaking via Discord:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Making waves on TikTok:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on X this month:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

49 shares on Slack this month:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

My life is a movie, and it has a 47% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Shared recently on Instagram:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Live now on WhatsApp:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Just landed via Slack:

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Breaking via Threads:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

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