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3 days ago
Share →: Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

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Trying to order a "ppppizza" just turned into the longest siege of my life 🍕😂🗣️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Live now on YouTube:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Going viral on YouTube:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Shared recently on Telegram:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Shared recently on YouTube:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Shared recently on WeChat:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Is losing your mind a hobby?

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

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Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

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