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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Trending via Threads:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Going viral on Slack:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Just shared via Reddit:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Spotted on WeChat:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Just landed via Reddit:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Going viral on Facebook:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Making waves on Instagram:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Trending via TikTok:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

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