Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Spotted on Threads:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Just landed via Messenger:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Spotted on Instagram:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Spotted on YouTube:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Breaking via TikTok:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Making waves on Facebook:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

23 Funny storytelling quotes

More funny storytelling quotes 👇

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

0

2 months ago

bladder, comedy, fairytale, humor, pea, princess, storytelling
No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

0

2 months ago

culture, frustration, humor, internet, internet culture, lived, matter, media, Reddit, screenshot, screenshots, situation, social, social media, someone, storytelling, update, upvote
When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

0

4 months ago

documentary, door, doors, going, humor, lock, locked, locked door, mystery, night, oh, old, old person, person, small, small town, start, storytelling, town

For even more funny storytelling quotes, hit next 👇

All funny storytelling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Slack this month:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

80 shares on Slack this month:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

97 shares on X this month:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Freshly posted on Threads:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Breaking via Reddit:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Spotted on Messenger:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Just shared via YouTube:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Spotted on Snapchat:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Trending via Discord:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

23 Funny storytelling quotes

More funny storytelling quotes 👇

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

All funny storytelling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨