Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Drive like no one is watching.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

18 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Going viral on Messenger:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Spotted on Discord:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Just landed via Facebook:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Breaking via TikTok:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Spotted on YouTube:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Spotted on WeChat:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Home » Funny Sympathy Card Quotes

Funny sympathy card quotes

New funny sympathy card quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Commentary:
"Indeed, going back to work after a vacation is a true test of our mental and emotional fortitude. Maybe a sympathy card with a soothing beach scene and the caption 'May your workload be light and your coffee strong' could do the trick!"

For even more funny sympathy card quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny sympathy card quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

18 minutes ago

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Trending via X:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Just shared via Threads:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Going viral on Reddit:

Happy new fear!

Live now on TikTok:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Just landed via Threads:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Going viral on Threads:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Going viral on Twitch:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴