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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Just landed via X:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Breaking via Pinterest:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Going viral on Instagram:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Live now on LinkedIn:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Going viral on WeChat:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Making waves on X:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Trending via Reddit:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Just landed via Telegram:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Reported on Snapchat:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Trending via Facebook:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Reported on Reddit:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Trending via Reddit:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Just landed via YouTube:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Going viral on Messenger:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Trending via Telegram:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I would like even faster food.

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