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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Going viral on Slack:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Trending via Telegram:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Breaking via Instagram:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Just landed via X:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Breaking via Slack:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Trending via Pinterest:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Funny texting while driving quotes

New funny texting while driving quotes 👇

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

4 weeks ago

apology, distraction, driving, humor, posts, sorry, texting, texting while driving, typo, while

All funny texting while driving quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

55 shares on Slack this month:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

56 shares on X this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Japanese Latina catgirl be like ña.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Live now on Facebook:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Live now on Pinterest:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Spotted on Facebook:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Just shared via Twitch:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Going viral on Instagram:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Just shared via Messenger:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny texting while driving quotes

New funny texting while driving quotes 👇

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

All funny texting while driving quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨