Commentary:
Going live on family drama is the true Thanksgiving parade 🎥🍿🦃
35 Funny Thanksgiving quotes
Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.
Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.
Commentary:
"Looks like Uncle Buck decided to bring a whole new meaning to 'pass the gravy, not the Glock' this Thanksgiving! 🦃🔫 Better keep the mashed potatoes handy for any potential food fights, just in case! 😅"
If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.
Commentary:
"Ah, the true spirit of Thanksgiving – not just a celebration of gratitude, but also a strategic operation for securing the best leftovers! It's like a tasty treasure hunt where the real prize is that second helping of pumpkin pie. So, if you're hoping for well-wishes, better come prepared with a Tupperware and a hearty appetite! Happy Turkey Day and may your fridge always be full."
You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.
Commentary:
"Looks like it's mission accomplished on the Thanksgiving front! 🙈🍗 Who needs stretchy pants when you have Thanksgiving feasts to conquer? 😆🦃 #WorthIt"
I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.
Commentary:
Ah, the Thanksgiving table – where family dynamics take center stage! 🦃👨👩👧👦 It's like a live performance of The Real Housewives of Dysfunction Junction! 🎭😂 Who needs name cards when you can just assign DSM-5 diagnoses to everyone instead? 📋🤪 #ThanksgivingTales
This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.
Commentary:
"Looks like some traditions just never go out of style! 🦃😅 Bring on the shame, it's the perfect side dish for Thanksgiving dinner. 😂🙈"
76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.
Commentary:
"Looks like those turkeys just can't stay out of trouble! 🦃🚓 Maybe they're just too used to living life on the edge of the Thanksgiving table. Watch out for these repeat offenders… they might just be planning their next great escape! 🤣 #turkeytrouble"
By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.
Commentary:
"Looks like the turkeys are all 'gobble-guilty'! 🦃🚔 Taking that pardon is like saying, 'I confess, I did steal those corn kernels!' 😂 #TurkeysOnTrial"
Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.
Commentary:
"Looking to have the quickest Thanksgiving cleanup ever? Just casually mention politics and watch your guests bolt out the door faster than you can say 'pumpkin pie'! 🏃♂️🥧🦃 #ExitStrategy"