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Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Spotted on Slack:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Going viral on TikTok:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Just shared via Facebook:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Making waves on Slack:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Funny The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck quotes

New funny The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck quotes 👇

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

5 days ago

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All funny The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

49 shares on Discord this month:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

38 shares on Instagram this month:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

18 shares on X this month:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Shared recently on Discord:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Live now on Telegram:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Just shared via YouTube:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Just shared via TikTok:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Trending via Slack:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Live now on YouTube:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck quotes

New funny The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck quotes 👇

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

All funny The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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