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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2451 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,613

Funny Quotes Topics

15,285

Funny Quotes Images

12,613

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WhatsApp:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Trending via X:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Going viral on TikTok:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Going viral on Discord:

Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Going viral on Messenger:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Making waves on Slack:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Breaking via Threads:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Just landed via Reddit:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Trending via Pinterest:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2451 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,613

Funny Quotes Topics

15,285

Funny Quotes Images

12,613

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Just shared via Reddit:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Trending via Twitch:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Making waves on Threads:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Just shared via Messenger:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Just shared via Facebook:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

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