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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2387 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,549

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,549

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Making waves on Threads:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Making waves on TikTok:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Just shared via Messenger:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Reported on Reddit:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“It’s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2387 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,549

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,549

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Trending via Twitch:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Spotted on Discord:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Going viral on Discord:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Trending via Slack:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Just landed via Threads:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Just shared via Instagram:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Going viral on Slack:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Going viral on Slack:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

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