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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Making waves on Twitch:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Trending via Pinterest:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Funny thorns quotes

New funny thorns quotes 👇

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

0

2 months ago

grow, growth, humor, i, need, needs, perspective, resilience, skin, thick, thick skin, thorns, world

All funny thorns quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

80 shares on Threads this month:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Shared recently on Threads:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Just landed via Facebook:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Just landed via Reddit:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Breaking via Discord:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Going viral on Reddit:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Live now on YouTube:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny thorns quotes

New funny thorns quotes 👇

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

All funny thorns quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨