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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Just shared via Threads:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Breaking via Threads:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Funny thought-provoking quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

64 shares on Discord this month:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

61 shares on Discord this month:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

23 shares on Instagram this month:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,731

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Seen just now on X:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Just shared via Messenger:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Seen just now on Threads:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

Spotted on Threads:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Spotted on Pinterest:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

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