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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Spotted on Messenger:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Live now on Pinterest:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Just landed via Instagram:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Just landed via Facebook:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Just landed via Threads:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Reported on Facebook:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Trending via Slack:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Just landed via Discord:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Seen just now on Reddit:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

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