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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

776 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,938

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,938

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Freshly posted on Slack:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Spotted on Discord:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Trending via X:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Trending via WeChat:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

776 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,938

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,938

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Live now on Twitch:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Going viral on YouTube:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Seen just now on Reddit:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Just shared via Instagram:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Spotted on YouTube:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

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