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10 hours ago
Share →: If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

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Watch out, fellas! If women had venom glands, some of us might not survive a girl's night out! 🐍💄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

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If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

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My parents think they know me.

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When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

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If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

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It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

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I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

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How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

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I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

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A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

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Live now on Telegram:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Just shared via X:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Breaking via TikTok:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Trending via WeChat:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

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Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

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A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

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Funny venom gland quotes

New funny venom gland quotes 👇

For even more funny venom gland quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny venom gland quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

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