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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Going viral on Messenger:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Shared recently on Facebook:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Live now on Slack:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Spotted on Messenger:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Funny vocal quotes

New funny vocal quotes 👇

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

2 months ago

cord, humor, joke, just, night, snore, sound, vocal, vocal cord, women

All funny vocal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

91 shares on Threads this month:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

45 shares on Discord this month:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Making waves on Facebook:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Making waves on WeChat:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Just landed via Twitch:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Trending via YouTube:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Breaking via Telegram:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Just shared via Threads:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Trending via Messenger:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Going bananas on Messenger:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny vocal quotes

New funny vocal quotes 👇

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

All funny vocal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨