Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,808

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Going bananas on X:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Seen just now on Slack:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Shared recently on X:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Shared recently on X:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Shared recently on Slack:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Home » Funny Wallet Condom Quotes

Funny wallet condom quotes

New funny wallet condom quotes 👇

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

0

3 weeks ago

active, active duty, after, combat, combat deployment, condom, deployment, duty, humor, retirement, tour, wallet, wallet condom

All funny wallet condom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

78 shares on Slack this month:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

38 shares on Threads this month:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Spotted on Reddit:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Just shared via Twitch:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Just shared via X:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Just shared via Slack:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Trending via Slack:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny wallet condom quotes

New funny wallet condom quotes 👇

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

All funny wallet condom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨