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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Spotted on X:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Trending via Telegram:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Going bananas on Slack:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Just shared via Telegram:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Breaking via Reddit:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Funny Willem Dafoe quotes

New funny Willem Dafoe quotes 👇

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

7 days ago

acting, average, average person, dafoe, different, even, film, film industry, industry, movie, Nosferatu, opportunity, person, uniqueness, willem, Willem Dafoe

All funny Willem Dafoe quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny Willem Dafoe quotes

New funny Willem Dafoe quotes 👇

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

All funny Willem Dafoe quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨