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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Live now on X:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Reported on Facebook:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Shared recently on Threads:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Just shared via Instagram:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Reported on Twitch:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Making waves on X:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Trending via Reddit:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Shared recently on Threads:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Spotted on Telegram:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Reported on TikTok:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Going viral on Messenger:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

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