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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Making waves on Messenger:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Just shared via Telegram:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Making waves on Telegram:

Happiness is an inside job.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Spotted on YouTube:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Funny won’t quotes

Funny won’t quotes bring a hilarious twist to those stubborn moments when life just says no 🙅‍♂️😂. Whether it’s about things you refuse to do or situations you simply won’t tolerate, these witty lines keep the mood light and the laughs coming 🤣🎉. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your day, funny won’t quotes prove that saying no can be downright entertaining! 🚫😜

New funny won’t quotes 👇

All funny won’t quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

69 shares on Discord this month:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great day, and then, people.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,554

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Trending via Snapchat:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Going bananas on Slack:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

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