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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Just shared via Messenger:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Making waves on Reddit:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Going viral on Slack:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Just landed via YouTube:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Just shared via Reddit:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Meow means woof in cat.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Spotted on Reddit:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Just landed via TikTok:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Live now on X:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Going viral on Threads:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Shared recently on Discord:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

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