Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Being a reader means voluntarily signing up for fictional heartbreak, and then recommending the pain to others.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Trending via Snapchat:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Making waves on TikTok:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Making waves on YouTube:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Spotted on YouTube:

Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.

Going bananas on Slack:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Going viral on Telegram:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Just shared via Reddit:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 "Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip." 🚗💨 Well, looks like we're not taking the scenic route, we're going straight to Regretsville with a quick stop at Shame Avenue! Buckle up, it's gonna be a bumpy ride through Memory Lane! 😂 #GuiltyAsCharged

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on YouTube this month:

We’ve got a shituation here.

46 shares on X this month:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

65 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

All roads lead to disappointment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Blink if you want me!

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m running out of people I like.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Trending via Telegram:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Trending via X:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

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