Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

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I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

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You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

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Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

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“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.