Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,555

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Making waves on Threads:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Making waves on Twitch:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Just landed via Slack:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Making waves on YouTube:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your health bar is low but your spirits need a boost: 🍺✨ Cheers to magical potions! 😂

beer, called, drink, girl, healing, healing potion, humor, potion, try

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think God was high when he made me.

0

2 months ago

confidence, divine, God, high, humor, humor quote, i, lighthearted, me, quirky, self-deprecating, think
Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

0

2 months ago

battery, beer, beverage, buzz, comparison, dry, dry humor, funny comparison, humor, joke, lack, lack of buzz, nicely, non-alcoholic, non-alcoholic beer, sarcastic, vibrator
Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, bring, fun, fun activity, give, i, kid, nostalgia, parenting, payphone, petition, phone, place, places, public, public place, quarter, technology, want
You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

0

2 months ago

ask, breakfast, coffee, conversation, daily, daily routine, eating, girl, humor, i, routine, say
When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, death, God, going, humor, irony, maker, meet, mingle, people, say, someone, staff
I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

0

2 months ago

cape, humor, lazy, procrastination, relaxation, super, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

66 shares on X this month:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Going bananas on X:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Just landed via WeChat:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Spotted on WeChat:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Making waves on Messenger:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Just shared via Telegram:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Spotted on Instagram:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I think God was high when he made me.

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨