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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Seen just now on Reddit:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Just landed via Snapchat:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Going viral on Facebook:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Going bananas on X:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Girls are perverts when they like you.

3 weeks ago

Funny, cheeky quote about girls' playful side when they like you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When girls start "investigating" your old Instagram posts, you know you've made it! 😂📚🔍

attraction, flirting, girl, girls, humor, pervert, relationship

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

12 shares on YouTube this month:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

80 shares on Slack this month:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

89 shares on Slack this month:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Trending via Pinterest:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Spotted on Messenger:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Just shared via Messenger:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Girls are perverts when they like you.

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨