Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Spotted on TikTok:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Just shared via Threads:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Making waves on YouTube:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Live now on Reddit:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Just landed via Twitch:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Making waves on Facebook:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like God was dreaming big with the ultimate snooze button! 😴✨

beautiful, concept, creation, God, humor, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

0

4 days ago

Christmas, game, ghost, ghosts, holiday, humor, ID, Mario, Mario Party, me, party, play, three, video, video game
Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

0

2 months ago

financial, getting, home, humor, me, money, mortgage, paid, responsibility, staying, staying in, worth
Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

0

2 months ago

excitement, exciting, finding, frustration, humor, i, insomnia, keep, opportunity, pissed, pissed off, sleep
I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

0

2 months ago

figure, figure out, humor, i, just, list, procrastination, responsibility, tasks, to-do, to-do list
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

0

2 months ago

conversation, humor, i, interruption, marriage, relationship, want, wife
I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

0

5 months ago

advice, expense, expensive, food, frustration, gardening, grow, humor, i, just, okay, own, posts, sarcasm, think, too, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

88 shares on X this month:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

62 shares on Facebook this month:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

100 shares on Slack this month:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Broadcasted on Slack:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Just shared via Telegram:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Shared recently on TikTok:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Spotted on Twitch:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Shared recently on YouTube:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Just shared via Messenger:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨