Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.
  • I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.
  • Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?
  • Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.
  • I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.
  • They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.