Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, looks like even the Almighty has some bureaucracy to deal with! 📝😅 Just imagine God sitting behind a desk, sipping celestial coffee, and reviewing paperwork for 'divine interventions'. #HeavenlyRedTape

divine, expectation, frustration, God, humor, irony, just, me, paperwork, procedure, say

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Instagram this month:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

23 shares on YouTube this month:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

99 shares on TikTok this month:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

77 shares on X this month:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

16 shares on Discord this month:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Seen just now on Threads:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Making waves on Discord:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Making waves on YouTube:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨