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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,332

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Just landed via X:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Going viral on Telegram:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Seen just now on X:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic pillow vs. brain showdown! 🛏️😴🧠 Who will win tonight? 🤔💤"

bed, bedtime, bedtime routine, bedtime struggle, difficulty, early, easy, going, problem, problems, routine, set, sleep, sleep difficulty, sleep problem, struggle, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

0

2 months ago

anything, descent, existential, humor, madness, request, want
I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

0

2 months ago

candy, family, fight, floor, front, humor, husband, i, just, kids, parenting, pay, piece, throw, UFC, understand
The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

0

2 months ago

cart, experience, filled, frustration, funny experience, furious, grocery, grocery store, humor, me, moron, navigating, navigation, shopping, shopping cart, slow, slow and furious, store, through
Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

0

2 months ago

day, expression, humor, humorous, idiom, joke, pickle, said, weird
Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

0

2 months ago

binge-watching, distraction, docusery, girl, girls, humor, i, killer, much, procrastination, serial, serial killer, snacks, start, watching
Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

0

1 month ago

confusion, haystack, humor, irony, needle, question, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Slack this month:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

23 shares on Discord this month:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

31 shares on X this month:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Making waves on TikTok:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Going viral on Messenger:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Seen just now on Reddit:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨