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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Trending via Slack:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Spotted on X:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Going viral on YouTube:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Just landed via Messenger:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Trending via Snapchat:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Just shared via WeChat:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Spotted on Slack:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Tall tales incoming! 🌱😂#ShortAndSweet

asking, ever, going, height, humor, man, men, question, ragebait, tall, trolling, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

0

2 months ago

communication, earlier, humor, i, joke, message, mind, mind reading, reading, telepathy
They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

0

2 months ago

always, best, best things, humor, late, procrastination, say, take, things, time, timing, wit
People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

0

2 months ago

actual, age, fold, here, human, humans, i, laundry, motivation, myself, over, parenting, people, promise, snack, snacks
Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

0

2 weeks ago

Elon, Elon Musk, ever, exactly, humor, internet, internet humor, life, media, musk, read, social, social media, stupid, tweet
Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

0

2 months ago

consumerism, dollar, dollar store, feel, humor, irony, me, poor, rich, same, self-esteem, shopping, store, time
Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

0

2 months ago

anxiety, anxious, brain, confusion, everything, existential, humor, i, matter, need, nothing, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

46 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

97 shares on Slack this month:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Making waves on Telegram:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Making waves on Reddit:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Live now on YouTube:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Just landed via Instagram:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Making waves on Discord:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Just landed via Twitch:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨