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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Just landed via Threads:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Making waves on Twitch:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Just shared via Discord:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Shared recently on WeChat:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Tall tales incoming! 🌱😂#ShortAndSweet

asking, ever, going, height, humor, man, men, question, ragebait, tall, trolling, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

0

3 months ago

bike, distraction, humor, i, music, next, riding, song, street
Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

0

2 months ago

balance, ball, bat, days, downs, fun, humor, life, perspective, sports, ups, ups and downs
I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

0

2 months ago

cheese, favorite, favourite, food, humor, i, joke, person, preference, relationship
Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

0

2 months ago

beach, embarrassment, front, funny moment, humor, lifeguard, moment, moving, potato, shoutout, Speedo, swimwear
Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

0

2 months ago

activity, good, humor, i, insomnia, internet, media, miss, night, online, online activity, post, posts, procrastination, social, social media, stay, stay up, staying
I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, communication, humor, joke, loud, me, people, senior, slow, speech, talk, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on TikTok this month:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

78 shares on X this month:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

77 shares on Slack this month:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

24 shares on Slack this month:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

52 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Broadcasted on Facebook:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Freshly posted on X:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Trending via Messenger:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Going viral on Instagram:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Just landed via Facebook:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Just shared via Messenger:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨