Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Avocado is just green butter.

Going bananas on Instagram:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Going viral on Facebook:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Trending via Twitch:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Breaking via Twitch:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Going bananas on Discord:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

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Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.
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Commentary:
"Good morning to life's chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense! ☕️🤔🤪"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on TikTok this month:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

78 shares on X this month:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

49 shares on X this month:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Having an international law degree in this day and age must be what it feels like losing chess to a dog and getting robbed of $90,000 afterward.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Spotted on X:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Just landed via X:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Spotted on Twitch:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Seen just now on X:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Freshly posted on X:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Going viral on Messenger:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Trending via Slack:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

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