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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Going viral on Slack:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Going viral on Twitch:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Making waves on Telegram:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Going bananas on YouTube:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Seen just now on X:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

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Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.
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Commentary:
"Good morning to life's chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense! ☕️🤔🤪"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

58 shares on X this month:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

49 shares on Discord this month:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Shared recently on Slack:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Just landed via Instagram:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Breaking via Messenger:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Going viral on Reddit:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Just landed via YouTube:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Just landed via Instagram:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

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