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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Making waves on Pinterest:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Trending via Snapchat:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Going viral on WeChat:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Live now on Threads:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Spotted on Discord:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Just landed via Pinterest:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Trending via Discord:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Good morning to life's chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense! ☕️🤔🤪"

complexity, everything, existential, good, humor, morning, only, philosophical, uncertainty, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, alive, army, battle, death, Eager, easy, Europe, heads, history, humor, life, medieval, pretty, wanted
For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

0

2 months ago

afraid, failure, fear, humor, irony, motivation, self-deprecation, someone, unmotivated
I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

0

2 months ago

actually, away, back, communication, forget, forgot, head, humor, i, misunderstanding, never, procrastination, reply, right, saw, social, technology, text, texting, type
“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

0

2 months ago

advice, bias, cognitive, cognitive bias, decision, decision making, follow, heart, humor, making, self-awareness, sort, yourself
Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

0

2 months ago

addicted, addiction, bad, bad posture, body, body position, comfortable, humor, position, posture, shrimp, sit, sitting, why
An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

0

3 months ago

aid, bed, bedtime, before, humor, nature, orgasm, relaxation, sleep, sleep aid

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

52 shares on X this month:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Going viral on Instagram:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Spotted on Messenger:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Going bananas on X:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Trending via Instagram:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Going bananas on Discord:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Going viral on TikTok:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨