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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Breaking via Threads:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Live now on Instagram:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Live now on Facebook:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Live now on Slack:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Going viral on Messenger:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Just landed via Instagram:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally found my superpower: dodging family gatherings since day one! 🦸‍♂️🕵️‍♀️🏃‍♂️

always, distant, distant family member, family, growing, growing up, humor, i, identity, member

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

0

2 months ago

cheese, humor, irony, love, mad, people, smell, someone
If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

0

2 months ago

along, backwards, getting, getting along, happiness, happy, humor, men, nagging, perspective, sad, sadness, soccer, watch
Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

0

2 months ago

addiction, benefits, cannabis, example, fat, gain, health, health risk, humor, insane, insanity, laziness, lazy, mental, mental health, risk, satire, weight, weight gain
Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

0

4 months ago

advice, bother, going, hell, humor, letting, people, stop
December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

0

1 week ago

calorie, count, December, diet, eating, festive, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, law
That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

0

2 months ago

alarm, depressing, depressing moment, disappointment, false, false alarm, fire, fire alarm, humor, just, moment, surprise, test, work, workplace, workplace humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

46 shares on Discord this month:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨