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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Just shared via X:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Live now on Instagram:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Breaking via Threads:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Ah, the mystery genes unraveled! 😂🧬 Thanks, Mom and Dad for this quirky personality package! 🎁🙃"

adult, adulting, cause, dynamics, family, family dynamics, hanging, humor, interesting, oh, parenting, parents, self-awareness, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

0

2 months ago

alarm, dust, early, humor, kid, me, needs, parenting, scream, today, wake, wake up
The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

0

2 months ago

argument, end, fight, fun, humor, internet, mayonnaise, media, online, online argument, post, social, social media
Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

0

2 weeks ago

clock, difference, gender, gender difference, humor, independence, man, men, money, relationship, woman, women
Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

0

2 months ago

break, cooking, every, food, half, humor, italian, joke, noodles, spaghetti, stereotype, stroke, time
I should’ve existed as a tree.

0

2 months ago

choices, existed, existence, humor, i, identity, life, life choices, nature, tree
Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

0

2 months ago

distraction, humor, influencing, internet, mummy, not now, www

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Telegram this month:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

55 shares on Discord this month:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

99 shares on Slack this month:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Going viral on Facebook:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Just landed via Slack:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨