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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Trending via Telegram:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Shared recently on X:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Spotted on X:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Going viral on Instagram:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the mystery genes unraveled! 😂🧬 Thanks, Mom and Dad for this quirky personality package! 🎁🙃"

adult, adulting, cause, dynamics, family, family dynamics, hanging, humor, interesting, oh, parenting, parents, self-awareness, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, cozy, fun, game, games, laundry, remember, reminder, still, washer
Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

0

5 months ago

companionship, death, die, humor, invitation, me, porch, relationship, sit, want
Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark mode, discomfort, humor, i, mode, much, physically, preferences, repulsion, screen, technology, used, visual, visual discomfort, white, white screen
Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

0

2 months ago

attire, casual, casual attire, fashion, fire, fuel, humor, humor quote
Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

0

4 months ago

always, bubble, clapping, experimental, experimental music, fun, fun sound, laughing, metallic, metallic noise, music, never, noise, noise music, noises, people, scary, scary sound, sound, sounds, stuff, why
I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

0

2 months ago

choice, dating, eighth, eighth choice, humor, rejection, second, second choice, self-deprecation, tenth, tenth choice

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Telegram this month:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Going viral on Discord:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Going bananas on Slack:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Trending via TikTok:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Live now on X:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Just landed via X:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Making waves on WeChat:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨