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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Going viral on Twitch:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Spotted on Facebook:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Going viral on Instagram:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Broadcasted on X:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Spotted on TikTok:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Trending via Reddit:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just imagine the amount of honey you'd need! 🍯🦒😁

animal, giraffe, having, humor, neck, pain, sore, sore throat, suck, throat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

0

2 weeks ago

after, aging, commute, drive, driving, extra, hate, home, house, hurry, i, late, making, older, stop, work
My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

0

5 months ago

alone, behavior, Funny, funny behavior, humor, interaction, leaving, moved, only, people, regret, social, social interaction, suspicion, time, trust
I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

0

2 months ago

day, day off, every, great, having, humor, i, joke, Monday, relaxation, sarcasm, should, sound, want, week, weekend, work
If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

0

2 months ago

easily, even, humor, internet, irony, media, offended, online, sarcasm, social, social media, why
My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

0

2 months ago

boredom, boring, humor, quit, self-deprecation, shadow, too
Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

0

2 months ago

bridges, burn, hope, humor, keep, metaphor, night, revenge, sarcasm, warm, warmth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

70 shares on Slack this month:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Being strange is exhausting.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Just shared via YouTube:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Trending via Threads:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Making waves on Facebook:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Freshly posted on X:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Just landed via YouTube:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨