Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Hello! I'm Britain's greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Commentary:
🕵️‍♂️ “Ah, the secret to being a top spy in Britain is by being super sneaky…or not! 🕵️‍♂️ Introducing the master of undercover subtlety with the most unforgettable catchphrase: ‘Smith, John Smith, in case you needed a reminder!’ 😂 Who needs a disguise when you’ve got a signature introduction like that? Classic spy humor at its finest!”

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the modern day dilemma of confirming existence before sending birthday wishes – it’s like a digital wellness check! 🎉👴🏼👵🏽 #FriendshipGoals #DigitalAgeConfusion”

  • I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

    Commentary:
    “Well, who’s the genius now, huh, Rubik’s cubes? 😏💰 Say goodbye to those smug faces as I smash my way to success with Rubik’s Hammers! 🔨💪 #80sInnovation”

  • Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

    Commentary:
    “Imagine being a cat and having your humans obsess over your bathroom habits like it’s the latest reality TV show 🙀💩 Talk about living under surveillance 24/7! Maybe cats have secret meetings plotting how to prank us in retaliation for all the poop monitoring 😹 #CatConspiracy”

  • You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, the dreaded email strike! ⚡️ It’s like a ninja assassin, stealthily disrupting your productive flow. 💻🤦‍♂️ But don’t worry, you’re not alone in this battle against the inbox invasion! 📧💥 Keep fighting the good fight, brave warrior of productivity! 💪🤺

  • My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the paradoxical superpower of making people comfortable by making them uncomfortable! 🤔💫 It’s like a rollercoaster ride for their emotions – hold on tight and enjoy the awkward twists and turns! 🎢😄

  • I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

    Commentary:
    “Putting ‘No DMs’ in your bio is the ultimate power move 💁‍♂️ Who needs validation when you’ve got boundaries and a sense of humor? 😂 It’s like saying ‘I’m too busy being fabulous to deal with all this attention 💅’ #ConfidenceGoals”