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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

52 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Reported on LinkedIn:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Going viral on Instagram:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Trending via Messenger:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Breaking via Discord:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Shared recently on WeChat:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Just shared via YouTube:

I was dropped as an adult.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

6 months ago

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🕵️‍♂️ "Ah, the secret to being a top spy in Britain is by being super sneaky…or not! 🕵️‍♂️ Introducing the master of undercover subtlety with the most unforgettable catchphrase: 'Smith, John Smith, in case you needed a reminder!' 😂 Who needs a disguise when you've got a signature introduction like that? Classic spy humor at its finest!"

again, Britain, case, catchphrase, clever, forename, hello, humor, i, identity, joke, missed, real, spy, surname, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

52 minutes ago

3,463

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Making waves on Threads:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Making waves on Reddit:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Breaking via Messenger:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Live now on Twitch:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Reported on Facebook:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Trending via WeChat:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Trending via Pinterest:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

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