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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Going viral on X:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Shared recently on X:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Making waves on Slack:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Just shared via Telegram:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

0
Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, a question for the mind readers! 🤔🔮 I hope they have their crystal balls polished and their telepathic signals on point for this one! Who needs a magic eight ball when you’ve got a mind reader around? 🎩✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Discord this month:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

43 shares on Threads this month:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,659

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Spotted on Messenger:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Spotted on Reddit:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Shared recently on Facebook:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Just landed via Telegram:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Live now on Instagram:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Trending via YouTube:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

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