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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,789

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My lips could use some attention today.

Just shared via Facebook:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Making waves on WeChat:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Spotted on Discord:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Going viral on YouTube:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the modern dream: strong Wi-Fi and silent snacks! 🏠📶🤫🍿"

chewing, comfort, family, home, humor, loud, loud chewing, technology, where, Wi-Fi, wifi

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

1 month ago
advertising, application, beauty, consumer, consumer humor, course, expensive, humor, i, love, luxury, luxury products, products, sarcasm, say, skincare
Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

2 months ago
actually, cleaning, countertop, countertop cleaning, daily, daily routine, face, face washing, feet, feet washing, floor, floor cleaning, forearm, forearm washing, hair, hair washing, hand, hand washing, hands, humor, hygiene, multitasking, routine, shirt, shirt washing, washing
McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

1 month ago
fast, fast food, food, good, good health, health, humor, irony, making, McDonald’s, promotion, unaffordable
Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

4 months ago
call, Christmas, enough, exhaustion, farewell, holiday, humor, merry, year
Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

1 month ago
angry, apologize, decide, humor, let, naked, relationship, sleep, still, women
I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

2 months ago
body, body image, content, fat, getting, humor, image, perspective, self-deprecation

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Going viral on WeChat:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Just shared via WeChat:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Going viral on Telegram:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Spotted on Instagram:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Shared recently on X:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

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Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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