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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Going viral on Messenger:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Just shared via TikTok:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about cozy home life with reliable Wi-Fi and peaceful silence.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the modern dream: strong Wi-Fi and silent snacks! 🏠📶🤫🍿"

chewing, comfort, family, home, humor, loud, loud chewing, technology, where, Wi-Fi, wifi

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Just landed via Twitch:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Seen just now on Telegram:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

How do I un-know people?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Spotted on Reddit:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Just landed via Telegram:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Shared recently on Slack:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨