Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,735

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Seen just now on X:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Going viral on Messenger:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

4 weeks ago

Playful joke about blending glasses prescription with car windshields, humorous and witty text.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why stop at glasses? Let’s just turn my car into a giant pair of binoculars! 🤓🚗🔍

funny question, glasses, humor, i, prescription, question, vision, windshield

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

1 month ago

fashion, fun, fun sock, humor, husband, marriage, relationship, sock, socks, year’s
My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

1 month ago

dating, delete, humor, me, media, online, online dating, post, posts, rejection, relationship, social, social media, soulmate
If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

1 month ago

backup, enforcement, humor, irony, knock, knock down, law, law enforcement, policeman
Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

4 weeks ago

absolutely, doing, ending, even, humor, irony, laziness, lot, love, motivation, plans, procrastination, productivity, things, wanting, yay
Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

4 weeks ago

beauty, dating, failure, humor, love, make-up, makeup, relationship, waste
Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

1 month ago

alone, day, humor, introvert, irony, leave, me, peace, self-care, today, wonderful

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

34 shares on Threads this month:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Freshly posted on X:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Just shared via Telegram:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Going bananas on Instagram:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Going viral on WeChat:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Live now on Reddit:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Keep the laugh going 😂

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨