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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Going viral on Snapchat:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Trending via Reddit:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Shared recently on WeChat:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Going viral on Instagram:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Trending via Twitch:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

4 weeks ago

Humorous text questioning authorship success with playful wit and satire.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Seems like they must have a really big font for "#1" on that list! 📚😂 #BestSellerMagic

1, author, bestseller, book, every, humor, new, New York Times, publishing, times, writing, york

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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

33 shares on Threads this month:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

94 shares on X this month:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

29 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

60 shares on Slack this month:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Broadcasted on Slack:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Making waves on TikTok:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Shared recently on Facebook:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

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Activity Log ✨

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Keep the laugh going 😂

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨