Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Just landed via Telegram:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Breaking via Facebook:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Spotted on TikTok:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Spotted on Reddit:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a solid game plan: step 1 – panic, step 2 – genius mode activated! 🧠😂🔥

always, anxiety, figure, humor, i, just, need, own, panic, problem, problem-solving, self-reliance, solving, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

0

2 months ago

beer, drinking, fridge, humor, i, lot, need, night, only, party, room, tonight
No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

0

6 months ago

awkwardness, dirty, dirty talk, every, hope, humor, i, insult, revenge, someone, stutter, talk, time, try
Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

0

4 months ago

healing, healing power, health, humor, mental, mental health, never, news, power, relaxation, self-care, underestimate, watching
Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

0

2 months ago

assurance, disappointment, dream, expectation, here, humor, i, just, life, living, me, never, reality, right, sarcasm, shit, somebody, told
You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

0

1 month ago

able, again, daily, daily routine, frustration, hair, humor, i, mean, routine, should, wash, washing
Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

0

2 months ago

cure, depression, enemy, exercise, fitness, hotter, humor, motivation, self-improvement

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Slack this month:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

38 shares on Instagram this month:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Just shared via Snapchat:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Spotted on Slack:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Spotted on Twitch:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Just shared via TikTok:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Shared recently on Instagram:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨