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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Spotted on Twitch:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Trending via Reddit:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Just shared via Discord:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Making waves on Instagram:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Making waves on WeChat:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a solid game plan: step 1 – panic, step 2 – genius mode activated! 🧠😂🔥

always, anxiety, figure, humor, i, just, need, own, panic, problem, problem-solving, self-reliance, solving, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

0

2 months ago

blocked, blocking, digital, digital life, good, humor, i, life, list, media, mood, prisoners, release, social, social media
I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

0

2 months ago

chance, group, humor, i, ignored, ignoring, interaction, large, large group, love, niche, niche reference, reference, references, sarcasm, social, social interaction
Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

0

2 months ago

alarm, bed, drug, police, sleep
My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

0

2 months ago

curse, friendship, fun, hang, hang out, humor, invitation, socializing, want
I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

0

2 months ago

activity, again, drinking, fun, going, humor, later, never, promise, something, today
People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

0

6 months ago

engagement, humor, internet, likes, max, media, people, persistence, secret, social, social media, still, time, tweet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

36 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Breaking via Reddit:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Just shared via Threads:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Just shared via TikTok:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Shared recently on Facebook:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Making waves on TikTok:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨