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Commentary:
Well, if you're having conversations with yourself and both of you are in agreement that you're not toxic, then congratulations! 🎉 Seems like a healthy dose of self-awareness and self-affirmation going on there. Keep up the good vibes and steer clear of the toxicity! ✨😄

asked, conversation, denial, humor, i, introspection, myself, self-reflection, toxic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

1 month ago
adventure, factory, fast, food, ID, imagination, marinara, river, spaghetti, tube, Wonka
I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

1 month ago
attempt, awkwardness, comedy, even, failure, Funny, humor, humor attempt, i, joke, joke failure, meeting, nobody, online, online meeting, social, social awkwardness, today, told, workplace, Zoom, Zoom meeting
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

2 months ago
children, companionship, dog, family, happiness, happy, house, humor, love, parenting, pets, relationships, someone, teenager
Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

1 month ago
50s, aging, funny observation, height, humor, observation, taller, used, welcome
Men are very good at being women lately.

2 weeks ago
being, gender, good, humor, men, stereotype, woman, women
Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

1 month ago
around, attitude, baby, belief, believe, care, days, faith, God, here, humor, i, religion, spirituality, trending

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Going viral on Discord:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Spotted on WeChat:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

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Activity Log ✨

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Men are very good at being women lately.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

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I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Men are very good at being women lately.

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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