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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has copied:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has viewed:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has downloaded:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has copied:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,372

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on Reddit:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Trending via Messenger:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Making waves on Messenger:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Just landed via Reddit:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Going viral on Instagram:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Going bananas on Messenger:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Venn diagrams. You either love β€˜em or you hate β€˜em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Making waves on Discord:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

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I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.
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Commentary:
Well, if you're having conversations with yourself and both of you are in agreement that you're not toxic, then congratulations! πŸŽ‰ Seems like a healthy dose of self-awareness and self-affirmation going on there. Keep up the good vibes and steer clear of the toxicity! βœ¨πŸ˜„

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

99 shares on Slack this month:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

67 shares on Threads this month:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is β€œhe’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,448

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has downloaded:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has viewed:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has bookmarked:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has copied:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has viewed:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has shared:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has shared:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has shared:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via WeChat:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Just shared via Messenger:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Just landed via Messenger:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Live now on Twitch:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Just landed via Twitch:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Breaking via Instagram:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Broadcasted on Discord:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say β€œdingoes”.

Seen just now on X:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Spotted on Instagram:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

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