Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Shared recently on X:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Freshly posted on Slack:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Making waves on Telegram:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Making waves on Slack:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Going viral on TikTok:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, I believe in you… just like I believe in Bigfoot! 🌲🦶 Don't let that mythic confidence boost go to your head now! 😄"

adventure, belief, believe, Bigfoot, excited, excitement, humor, i, skepticism, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Twitch this month:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

48 shares on Discord this month:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

56 shares on Discord this month:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Going bananas on Threads:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Seen just now on Threads:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Just landed via Instagram:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Trending via Facebook:

Dear Santa, Money!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨